Love is all you need

It's better
To cry alone
Aloud
In your own place
Than have to hide the tears.

Has anybody else been in the position of their partner telling them that they are in love with someone else?

Mazzy

...because tomorrow Steve is 30. Ha, I've told him it's probably time to trade him in for a younger model.

I've unfortunately not done any of the things I wanted to for his birthday, because being a 'last moment' sort of person, I was going to sort it this week. But then Small Child got the pooey spewey thing that's going around, and now I've got it - was throwing up all Tuesday night, burning up on the sofa with intermittent crawls to the bathroom to pass watery foul=smelling crap all yesterday, and am now in the 'weak as a kitten' phase. All the while I've been having to look after a poorly little lad too.

Steve is surprisingly easy to be around when I am sick. I hate people being by me, but he doesn't mind my grumpy hiding away. He'll ask me if I need anything, and go on errands for Lucozade, and then he'll shut up and keep clear. He was annoyed I wouldn't cuddle him in bed tho, even though I explained that I didn't want him to catch anything, especially for his birthday. Woke up with him wrapped round me anyway.

So poor thing only has two cards and one present (from Small Child). Oh well, I might tell him I've written off his £500 debt to me. Not quite sure he deserves it though!

So for now it's back to fighting Small Child for the 'good' end of the sofa, and lolling around pathetically between pale-faced chores. Can't yet make it out of the house, which is worrying as Steve has tomorrow off for partying. I love to party, but I think I'll struggle right now.

Lend me your eyes, so I can see myself,
As you saw me that night.
Two strangers, chatting casually over dinner,
Until that moment, gesture, word or touch
That told us both the way that it would be.

As dark as my own, reflecting back to me
Passion, seduction, longing and desire,
The promise of the night that was to come.
From eyes to hands to lips, the contact spread,
Drawing us further in, and further still.

Lend me your eyes, so I can see myself.
I look in the mirror, try to find them there.
Dark eyes stare back at me, the same dark eyes
That captivated yours.
But all I see is pain.

© Melinda Belynda 23 November 2008

You tell him to come in sit down
but something makes you turn around
The door is open you can't close your shelter
You try the handle of the road
It opens do not be afraid
It's you my love, you who are the stranger
It's you my love, you who are the stranger.
...

And then leaning on your window sill
he'll say one day you caused his will
to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter
And then taking from his wallet
an old schedule of trains, he'll say
I told you when I came I was a stranger
I told you when I came I was a stranger.

Love hurts, it hurts so much,
I don’t want it any more,
it makes me want to run away and hide,
I won’t do that,
I won’t I wont.
‘I told you when I came, I was a stranger’.
That is how it should be,
that way there is no pain, no loss,
Let it go, let it go, it doesn’t matter.
I am jealous, I want too much.
Learn not to want, learn not to care.
I want not to care.
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
Take it all away.
Learn to be alone.
Learn not to care.
And if I stay?
What difference does it make?
I still won’t care.

1. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out that you still care for that person.

2. When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person who you would like to hear from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from their heart.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, in the end it fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. A careless word may kindle strife, a cruel word may wreck a life, a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless.

9. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

10. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

'Are you going to be amazing again?' he asked, as we stood in the darkened hotel room, while snow flakes blew past the window, kissing deeply and slowly working our way inside each other's clothes.

'Were you amazed?' I ask later, lying content in his arms in the warm bed.
'So-so.'
'Hey!'
I reach to slap him, lifting up the duvet as I do so and letting in the air from outside. He groans and I pull myself and the covers down onto him, shutting out the cold again as we wrap ourselves around each other and kiss some more.

Amazing.

... or don't.
but tell me so.
I cooked you a meal.
I planned it,
Prepared it,
Cooked it,
Tried to clean up
after myself.
It took hours.
So,
Tell me what you think?
I understand
Perhaps it didn't come
Up to your standards.
But say so.
Please.
So I know.
Don't just clear your throat,
In that way I know so well.

Melinda Belynda
25 October 2008

This was a Google "thought for the day"

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". Neil Gaiman

I would be interested to hear your views on this subject.