« while you see a chance, take it, find romance... | Addicted? »
@ 2008-08-24 – 13:39:02
These are the words of an old, but well-known, (I think) song.
Falling in Love with Love is falling for make-believe!
Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool!
Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy!
Learning to trust is just for children in school.
I fell in Love with Love one night when the moon was full
I was unwise with eyes unable to see!
I fell in Love with Love, Love ever-lasting!
But love fell out, with me!
Is love only make-believe?
Is love all we need?
Discuss
Melinda_blog
There is certainly a huge cultural element to it that changes over time. Just look at films and the representation of the beginnings of love.
Initially people expect to meet someone, fall head over heels and live together till death do us part.
It happens for some but I doubt it happens for most - and I think sometimes people get disillusioned by it.
Pragmatically I think it lies somewhere in between...
Melinda_blog
That kind of stability is important when there are young children to care for.
But that doesn't last forever... and what happens then???
The all-consuming passion at the beginning is unsustainable.
What develops is stronger and, although less intense, no less powerful.
Sometimes it doesn't develop. But I think sometimes people don't realise that it has and hanker for the days at the start, not realising what they had until it is over.
Children are a different matter entirely, and require an even greater level of personal compromise and sacrifice. And I don't use compromise and sacrifice as dirty words - they are essential to get the most out of life.
Melinda_blog
Sometimes the compromises demanded by children are so overwhelming that it's only after they have gone that we realise how little else is left.
http://www.authspot.com/Poetry/Why-Did-I-Think.108648
Very true. It is a judgement call then. To strike out on your own or better the devil you know.
Tricky and unpleasant sitiuation 
Melinda_blog
Oooohhh, tell me about it
JellyHeart
I have only examples of (ever-)lasting love in my vincinity, my parents, grand-parents, other family members. So, yes, I do believe love can last for (very) long and that actually it is true for most.
It's true that the early passion changes after a while, yet it does not disappear. It becomes different, more intimate. I definitely does not die, but reappears from time to time during the relationship. A special gift for a b-day, a special word before going to sleep, a cheering word when you are down, and then it all comes back. You know why you are with that person and also you feel the way it was at the beginning.
la_spice
Nice debate going on there!!
Melinda_blog
I saw that with my parents.
But I've had to come to terms with accepting that what I have doesn't live up to that ideal, and probably never will. 
how long do you keep telling yourself it will come out right in the end?
how long do you wait for that to happen?
la_spice
Excuse me butting in - some great discussions going on here 
Sometimes, in this life, you have to make things happen.
husbandorcat
I know.
And if you've tried one way, and it still doesn't feel right, you have to try something else...
I'll change that:
not 'have to', 'maybe you should' try something else.
la_spice
You're "should" "would" and "could" - ing again! 
Melinda_blog
I know! That's why I took out 'have to'!
But I couldn't think how to get rid of the 'should'
Unless I say, 'I WILL try something else'???
How about that????
la_spice
Sounds positive - now convince yourself!
husbandorcat
Yeah, Mel!!!
Convince me!
MissSofiaMoon
there's something very important about love, isn't there?
if it weren't important,
then, knowing all the trouble and heartache, hard work,
that comes with it...
and without it...
why would anyone bother?
it can't be just an instinct, because we can override instincts, if they lead us to troubles.
it's like, we've all heard of heroin...
it's suppossed to be better than sex (yeah right!) etc,
wonderful and all those things...
but it is also destructive and terrible,
like a slow suicide,
so, quite sensibly, we avoid it.
imagine if we heard about love in the same way...
sounds great, but is it worth it?
many of us would decide that it wasn't.
after years of trying for it, with all the pain that involves, we'd just forget about it, give up on it...
but there is something within us all that drives us to seek it no matter what the cost,
no matter how many times we have been hurt and disappointed.
la_spice
Thank you for joining the debate.
MissSofiaMoon
oh, sorry... 
was that too deep?
I could always dumb it down a bit...
la_spice
Of course not!
This has turned into an interesting debate that's all.
Melinda_blog
That is a great metaphor/comparison whatever you want to call it.
you're right, most people would steer well clear if they thought of it in that way. But with love, somehow it's the other way round, it's the ones who keep away who seem to be the freaks.
Another comparison that occurs to me is with money. I am always very scathing about people who are desperate to win the lottery or who desire more and more money. don't they know it will never buy them happiness? Can't they just learn to accept what they have and be content with that?
so why is it that, even though I know that the quest for love will probably only bring misery in the long term, and I should learn to accept what I have and be content with that, I still keep yearning for something more?
la_spice
It all comes back to that million dollar question!
MissSofiaMoon
hm, it's a good question
Collar
All the preceding comments prove it isn't make-believe!
We've all got to be fools sometime to get the full (no pun intended) value of being human! You know, just thinking, I've probably got more out of being a fool, than I have been hurt by it.
Taking the lyric at face value, the song was years ahead of its time... the idea of falling in love with love, rather than with other people.
PS I disagree that learning to trust is just for children at school!
la_spice
Good comment - thank you 
Related posts
The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.
If we'd never heard of 'falling in love', would any of us feel it?
Probably not.
I don't think it's been universally recognised in all cultures at all times, not in the same way that we understand it (that's assuming we understand it, of course!)
But wherever it comes from, whether culturally determined, biological, a mixture of the two, or pure, dumb fate, when it hits us, we sure as heck all know about it!
And when we don't have it, we know about that too