Love is all you need

... or don't.
but tell me so.
I cooked you a meal.
I planned it,
Prepared it,
Cooked it,
Tried to clean up
after myself.
It took hours.
So,
Tell me what you think?
I understand
Perhaps it didn't come
Up to your standards.
But say so.
Please.
So I know.
Don't just clear your throat,
In that way I know so well.

Melinda Belynda
25 October 2008

This was a Google "thought for the day"

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". Neil Gaiman

I would be interested to hear your views on this subject.

...............will be

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON

If you want a soap opera like life, you should read my blog. Love is a key part in it.

Look for JamesTrivial blog.

Maybe someone can tell me i'm doing the right thing...

The Independent is running a series on love, relationships and intimacy.

More info here and a lot of discussion points! The Independent's guide to Love and Sex

Denial is easy.

ABC of a good relationship

A - Absolutely adore each other
B - Be best friends
C - Compromise
D - Discover new things together
E - Encourage each other
F - Forgive and forget
G - Gaze into each others eyes
H - Hold hands and hug a lot
I - Inspire and intrigue each other
J - Joke and laugh and have fun
K - Kiss Kiss Kiss ;-)
L - Love with all your hearts
M - Marvel at each other's talents
N - Nuture each other's soul
O - Overcome problem together
P - Play games
Q - Quiet each other's fears
R - Remember the little things
S - Say "I love you" everyday
T - Take time for tenderness
U - Understand and care deeply
V - Value everything you share
W - Wish on stars together
X - X-press your true feelings
Y - Yearn for each other's touch
Z - Zzzzz in each other's arm

When a cute stranger steps on your foot in a crowded bar, you:
• Say, "Watch it!" (Score = -1)
• Writhe in pain (Score = 4)
• Apologise (Score = 1)
• Crack a joke (Score = 3)
• Start a conversation (Score = 2)

When you meet someone you'd like to get to know better, how do you proceed?
• You pitch it as an invite to a group get-together with friends (Score = 1)
• You go direct.Something like, "I'd love to get together with you sometime."(Score = 2)
• You use an excuse "We both like Bond, I know where Goldfinger is playing."(Score = 3)
• You give the person your number before being asked (Score = 4)
• You wait and let them ask for your number (Score = -1)

Your screen name most closely matches which category:
• Practical — maybe related to your name or city (Score = 1)
• A good conversation-starter — a hobby, nickname (Score = 2)
• A play on words that gets people laughing or thinking (Score = 3)
• Something sexy (Score = 4)
• Related to the car you drive, or to your job title (Score = -1)

At an office happy hour, you lock eyes with someone standing solo at the bar. Your move?
• Ditch your cocktail and ask them for advice on what you should order (Score = 2)
• Keep an eye peeled for an hour, to be sure they're not someone's date (Score = 1)
• Send over a margarita from across the bar (Score = 4)
• Nada. No flirting at work parties (Score = -1)
• Ask them to save you from your work party for a moment, and offer to buy that drink (Score = 3)

The best way to make someone sit up and notice you:
• Making intense eye contact (Score = 4)
• Telling a hilarious story (Score = 3)
• Acting disinterested (Score = -1)
• Being non-threatening and friendly (Score = 1)
• Asking a lot of questions and casually touching (Score = 2)

If you scored:

Less than 0
If flirting is an Olympic sport, you're going for the... wait, what's below bronze? Aluminium? When you're around a love interest, you become introverted. The problem: It gives the impression you're unhappy and disinterested — even when you may really like someone. An easy fix? Ask questions. Everyone loves talking about themselves, plus when you tune in to the answers it shows you're a great listener.

1-6
OK, time to dash an old flirting myth — when you treat someone as "just a friend," it backfires. They end up thinking of you as just a friend. Unless you commit to clear flirting signals — such as the casual arm touch, or smiling while making eye contact — your flirting form may flop. So make your interest clear, instead of leaving them wondering if you like them in that way.

7-14
Your flirting form is like that perfect martini — a great balance of style and smoothness. Your twist? Your natural curiosity about people leaves them feeling like they made a real connection. How's that for a perfect 10?

15-20
When you turn on the charm, stand back — you give it your all. The problem? Sometimes your aggressive moves may label you as a player, someone who couldn't possibly be looking for a real relationship. Slowing down to make a legitimate connection with someone would boost your success ratio in a big way.

Well neither fate nor cupid were on target (again!)

"Just to be clear.... in the last week I have met a woman with whom I am really quite committed. I am happy to correspond, or offer polite hospitality should you be this way, but nothing more.
All the best,
Mike"

Now call me cynical but ...... is it possible to become "quite committed" to someone in a week?

It’s conventional to say that a good sense of humour is the main thing we look for in a partner. But what do we mean by that? Is it just something everybody says because they’re too embarrassed to admit that they’re actually looking for a humungous dick/tits? So, they say, ‘Well, of course, what I REALLY appreciate in the opposite sex is a GSOH’.
But who can define what we mean by a GSOH? I suspect that everyone actually believes themselves to have one, so it becomes rather a pointless criterion – you can tick the box, but what happens when your SOH comes up hard against the other person’s? Do you laugh at the same things? Do you laugh at each other? Can you tease the crap out of each other and still fall into each other’s arms, with no rankling resentment?
Humour is a very personal thing. My sense of humour, like my taste in general, is, of course, superb. But then, isn’t everybody’s?